Letting Go of Goals to Embrace Self-Trust
We’re all familiar with the New Year, New You hype: “Set big goals! Make this your year!” Social media and self-help gurus urge us to go faster, aim higher, and achieve more. They shame you into signing up for their intense programs, download more checklists, and make it sound like it’s so easy if you just want it bad enough.
But let’s pause and ask: Is this really working for us?
For many, traditional goal-setting feels like an endless cycle of performance without purpose.
It’s time for a new approach—one rooted in trusting yourself, embracing mindful choices, and focusing on presence over perfection.
This year, instead of chasing goals and jumping through hoops, I’m committing to a mindset shift.
I’m keeping promises to myself, slowing down, and showing up in a way that feels aligned with my values and personal growth.
And I invite you to join me.
Why Traditional Goal-Setting Is Broken
The problem with goal-setting isn’t the idea itself—it’s how we often approach it. Too often, goals become about performance rather than transformation. They prioritize external validation over internal alignment, leaving little room for genuine, lasting change.
Here are some personal examples:
Fitness Goals: In 2005/06, I completed two triathlons, a half marathon, and several shorter races. But when I got injured, I stopped running altogether. The goals were met, I got the accolades, but they didn’t create a lasting habit or lifestyle change.
#75Hard Challenge: For my 41st birthday in 2021, I completed the #75Hard challenge. I checked every box, but the habits didn’t stick because they were tied to the challenge and the performance of it. The long checklist of to-do’s were not aligned with my priorities or sustainable.
Reading Goals: I’ve read over 50 books annually for the past several years. While many business books were inspiring, most didn’t lead to action. Instead, I built a habit of consumption without creation.
The common thread? Achieving goals can bring temporary satisfaction and that external “attaboy” gold star, but without the right mindset, they rarely lead to meaningful transformation.
Introducing Presence Over Perfection
We’ve all heard the phrase progress over perfection, but even that can feel like a hamster wheel. What if we focused instead on presence over perfection?
Presence is about slowing down and making intentional, mindful choices aligned with your goals and values. It’s about celebrating small wins and learning from the moments when things don’t go as planned.
Examples of Presence in Action:
Observing the desire to snack in the evening and pausing to check in with your body to feel where it’s coming from.
Saying “no” to an overcommitment, prioritizing space in your calendar.
Taking five deep breaths and waiting to respond when you’re tempted to react emotionally.
Presence helps us trust ourselves to make better choices moment by moment, which builds confidence and fosters lasting habits.
Shifting Focus: A New Way of Being
What if growth wasn’t something you achieve, but something you embody?
This mindset shift involves stepping away from the hustle and content treadmill mentality, and embracing intentionality and self-awareness. For me, this has meant adopting a guiding principle:
“I Keep My Promises to Myself.”
By focusing on small, meaningful actions, I’ve learned to trust my ability to grow—not through rigid goals, but through mindful, intentional choices.
Building Self-Trust Through Small Promises
Self-trust isn’t built overnight. It’s cultivated through consistency and honoring small commitments. Here’s how you can start:
1. Choose One Small, Daily Practice
Pick something manageable and aligned with your values, like journaling for five minutes, stretching each morning, or saying a daily affirmation.
2. Celebrate Your Mindful Moments
Acknowledge when you make choices on purpose (with presence) that align with your goals. These small victories reinforce your ability to show up for yourself.
3. Reflect Without Judgment
If you miss a day or make a choice you regret, don’t spiral into guilt. Use it as an opportunity to observe and recalibrate.
The Mindset of Presence: Creating Lasting Impact
When we focus on presence, we make room for intentional growth that sticks. Here’s how this mindset shift can transform different areas of your life:
In Business: Presence allows you to prioritize meaningful tasks and make decisions aligned with your vision, rather than getting caught up in busywork or a shiny marketing campaign for something you don’t need.
In Personal Life: It deepens your connection to yourself and your loved ones, creating more harmony and fulfillment. More presence and less reactivity builds trust with your household relationships.
In Health: Small, mindful habits create sustainable changes that aren’t tied to arbitrary goals.
Practical Strategies for Embracing Presence
Here are actionable ways to incorporate presence over perfection into your daily life:
Set Daily Intentions
Each morning, set a simple intention like, “I will be kind to myself today” or “I will pause before responding to stress.”
Use Mindful Pausing
When faced with a decision, take a deep breath and ask, “Does this align with my values?”
Journal for Reflection
Use this prompt to build self-awareness: What is one small thing I can do every day to build trust in myself?
Track Your Promises
Create a habit tracker to record the small promises you keep. This visual cue reinforces your progress and builds confidence.
Slowing Down to Speed Up
Slowing down can feel counterintuitive in a fast-paced world, but it’s a game-changer for personal growth. When you slow down, you:
Gain clarity about what truly matters.
Avoid burnout by aligning actions with energy levels.
Strengthen your ability to stay present and mindful.
An Invitation to Shift Your Mindset
If this resonates with you, it might be time to rethink your approach to growth and success. Let’s explore how presence and self-trust can transform your mindset, personal life, and business.
➡️ See how we can work together to align your business and personal growth with your values and energy.
Conclusion
Letting go of traditional goal-setting isn’t about giving up—it’s about creating space for a life that feels aligned and fulfilling. By focusing on presence over perfection and keeping promises to yourself, you can make choices that support long-term personal growth.
So, take a deep breath, pause, and trust yourself. One mindful moment at a time, you’re building the life you want.
Did this post help shift your mindset? Share more in the comments below! ⤵️
